Parent Tips: Make study time a priority

We discussed the importance of practicing time management in previous blogs. Establishing priorities and better planning your time are the essential components of that process. Making study times a top priority and setting up a daily routine to help manage this is a helpful tactic. As usual, you will have to be present to get this started in the right way.

To make study periods effective, establish a few rules. They are simple and obvious.

• First, study time requires a quiet and helpful environment. 
• Second, distractions of all types should be removed. 
• Third, needed supplies and aids should be readily available. 
• And fourth, there should be an established minimum amount of time set aside for studying. For example, if no homework is due, consider using the time to study ahead for a test, read the next chapter in a book, or study a topic related to your coursework. 

The goal is to generate a productive level of attention for a given time period.

Study time should include all members of the family. Younger siblings should maintain quiet and focus on age-related books, puzzles, and games. To the extent possible, it is helpful for adults to also be part of study periods. For example, this time could be used to pay bills, read, or do similar things. Finally, to the extent possible, identify ways you can help your children study. Examples include calling out spelling words, test questions, or helping with math problems.

For further ideas, blogs, and tactics, check the information available at our website: hightouchlearning.com.

Parent Tips: Daily clean-up routines

In previous blogs, we discussed organizing things and having a set time daily for tidying-up. Consider participating in this routine, alternating your time with different kids and various tasks. The goal is threefold. First, help your kids get involved in maintaining their stuff. Secondly,  getting them to tidy up things daily (putting everything in its place). And third, choosing what needs to be prepared ahead of time; for example, what clothes need to be ironed for tomorrow?

This approach gives you a chance to model and demonstrate for the family the importance of household teamwork and helping each other out. All adults have to participate. All children have to participate. You may find that the younger kids jump in and imitate older siblings and parents. If feasible, the youngest can help the oldest with simple tasks.

As a parent, try to maintain a positive attitude (to the extent possible) as you walk through your children's rooms. Show them how to work fast and efficiently. It is not hard to arrange things if done on a daily basis. An example would be to carry a plastic bag with you to serve as a portable trash can. Another tactic would be placing hanging clothes in the closet by usage, color schemes, or other commonsense positions. Offer to help with some items; for example: “Would you like me to iron this for you?” You are providing examples of teamwork when you do this.  

When feasible, make sure that you use common tasks to teach your children how to do things. Washing the clothes is a good example. If your child has the maturity to do this, make it part of his or her routine. Even guys don't usually mess up washing their t-shirts, underwear, and socks. The same process applies to kitchen work, including cooking and cleaning.

There are no gender biases allowed. You participate in the meals and sharing the bounty; you also participate in the preparation and cleanup. I'm not recommending my grandfather's strict version of this theme: "You don't work, you don't eat. " But in past generations, work was a needed family mission, and gathering the eggs and crops was a necessity. We seem to be far removed from this reality. 

As with previously suggested activities, rewards for participation and consequences for the lack of cooperation are helpful. 

For further ideas, blogs, and tactics, check the information available at our website: hightouchlearning.com.

Parent Tips: Use teamwork in the kitchen

A well-known Louisiana chef recently devoted his new cookbook to the tradition of families cooking together. Titled My Family Table, the book is dedicated to getting all family members participating in meal preparation. Regardless of age, each child is involved in some aspect of the meal. And as you know, there are plenty of tasks surrounding a meal from start to finish. Consider viewing this process as a family teamwork opportunity.

Assign members preparation and cleaning tasks that fit their level of skill. Rotate these daily or weekly to keep things even. The length of time that it takes to complete a task can help balance things out. Cleaning the table and the dishes and putting up leftovers is an activity that everyone can join and share at the same time. Make sure to involve younger kids in safe tasks. For example, helping you with handling certain foods or making sandwiches. 

As with most efforts of this type, plan to model, coach, and supervise at first. Likewise, plan to tolerate negative feedback at times. Setting criticism aside, keep the process going. For example, you might reply to critics with: "I'm sorry you feel that way, but let's keep going. " If a child has a legitimate conflict, offer to help them out as a way to model teamwork: "Let me do that for you tonight so you can get dressed." 

Helping each other establishes the right attitude for your family efforts. And it represents the crux of teamwork. Perhaps best of all, it's the opposite of conflict and arguments, frustration and anger, and pouting. 

Manipulation is lessened in such settings and everyone benefits. The right atmosphere can include chatter and laughter, as well as kidding each other. Fellowship and bonding can follow, as everyone shares in the work effort. You may be able to enlist your older children to help maintain this momentum in the younger family members.

For further ideas, blogs, and tactics, check the information available at our website: hightouchlearning.com.

Parent Tips: Ideas on the family decision-making process

Helping your family grow in healthy ways is the goal of these blogs. Part of that process involves letting your children provide ideas and make decisions about the family. You will find at some point that your teens are able to manage on their own with less oversight from you. This often occurs after you get a few positive patterns going and your children are more in sync with the family's needs. 

Handing over responsibility for certain tasks conveys two important messages to your teen. 

• First, you are competent.  
• And secondly, I trust you to manage this on your own. 

Both are important insights for maturing kids. And candidly, most teens are able to do many tasks on their own. As most parents know, the culprit is typically their motivation to do so, along with conflicting interests.

When turning activities over to your teens, offer to provide help when needed: "I'm here if you need me." Secondly, provide learning tips that may help. For example, having a note on your door or a prompt on your phone to remind yourself about a task, or to alert you about times and dates.  You can be sure that this will not proceed with perfection at all times, but consider that normal.

Plan for imperfection and miscues. And decide ahead of time how you are going to react to such. Do not overreact.  After all, you have said to them: You're in charge." Consider being a resource rather than an angry boss: "I see you're having a bit of trouble getting that done before study time. Let's think of a quicker way to do this." Or, simply consider offering help: "Remember, I'm here to help out when you need me."

Here are a few other ideas. Remember to rotate responsibilities to keep tasks fairly distributed among the kids when feasible.  You may also apply this to other options: "Whose turn is it to choose where to eat?"

For further ideas, blogs, and tactics, check the information available at our website: hightouchlearning.com.

Parent Tips: Develop a spirit of appreciation

As a parent, you no doubt have experienced the feelings of hurt that accompany doing multiple tasks for your family without an acknowledgment of appreciation. Often, it may seem that life revolves so much around your kids that there is little left of you by the end of the day. In short, your efforts may well be taken for granted.  This self-centeredness is super common among kids so do not think that it's a pattern found only in your household.

While common, I would respectfully suggest that such a characteristic is not healthy for your children as they become old enough to comprehend what is being done for them. Here are a few thoughts about the family state of affairs and building respect.

Having your teens share in duties and responsibilities helps with improving their awareness of what it takes to keep a family going. When children do a task themselves it helps boost their insight about work. They may respond with complaints to you or their peers; for example, "I hate doing this." But that recognition is part of coming to grips with work and responsibility. The clothes need to be washed whether it's fun or not; and most of us have to get over it, quit complaining, and just do it.

Secondly, getting your kids to help with family tasks gives you the opportunity to thank them. Your children will likely feel good about the positive recognition for their efforts. And importantly, such positive feedback models for them how to show appreciation to others. Gratitude is a sentiment too often missing in today's communications in our society.  And saying thanks is a powerful expression of good will.

Finally, appreciation is contagious and may be spread around at home and in other environments. Younger children will model older siblings in a positive way. And your children will likely find that expressing gratitude to their teachers, friends, and others will be a welcomed sentiment. Compared to arguments and conflicts, you will find that an atmosphere of appreciation for efforts is a welcomed relief.

For further ideas, blogs, and tactics, check the information available at our website: hightouchlearning.com.